A mother's prayer rule

Last night I attended a parenting class at my church that was specifically for moms. It was led by our two priests' wives on how to be good wives and mothers. There were a lot of wonderful things discussed and I could probably write multiple blog entries on the few topics that we were able to touch on but there was one that really made me think. One of the moms expressed her struggle with pursuing her own faith when she is so overwhelmed with all of the tasks demanded of her on a daily basis. She said something very poignant, "It is hard to have faith that having faith will do any good". I could not agree more. When you feel like the house will never be cleaned, the dishes never done and there is laundry up to your earlobes, how can you be certain that praying will accomplish anything? I think all moms struggle with this question at one time or another. I know I certainly have and do! After this mom had expressed her concern many ideas were shared on how to persevere despite the constant distractions and pressures but one in particular struck me. One of our moms shared a conversation she had with the abbess of a monastery about this very thing. After lamenting to the abbess her inability to ever say her prayers or do prostrations the abbess told her that a mother's prayer rule is sitting up with your child when they can't go to sleep and that her prostrations are picking up your baby when it needs to be held. We are still praying and disciplining ourselves, it just looks a little different. I found this thought not only encouraging but beautiful! What a blessing we have as mothers to be surrounded daily by opportunities to show our families love! This transformed understanding of the spiritual life of a mom not only removes the guilt of never having enough time to "really pray" but gives new purpose to those moments when the kids are melting down and everything is a mess. It is those times that we can take a deep breath and say a short prayer thanking God for the opportunity to love our family.

I have by no means attained this mentality and I daily reach a point where I am much more likely to run screaming from the house than thank God for crying children but I am trying to change my mindset. I have started this process by realizing that my spiritual struggle at this phase in life does not involve hours of quiet uninterrupted prayer and spiritual reading. My spiritual goals are different. My focus is on raising christian children and creating a home where God is present. This has not been easy and I am by no means good at it but it has helped transform the way I view my time. Children are sponges and notice more than we realize. If I am making a daily effort to make God present in our home, even in a small way, the kids will notice. Even if all that means is putting on a paraklesis (prayer service) CD while folding laundry and saying the short evening prayers with the kids it makes a difference. If my children see me trying to remember God throughout my day (in the small ways that I can) it will teach them to remember God in theirs. I may not be able to prayerfully focus on a whole Sunday service but I can make sure that my children experience the liturgy and participate in the Body of Christ. I may not be able to make it through all of small compline but I can show my children how to cross themselves and show reverence to holy things. My spiritual struggle now is to train my children in the ways of righteousness. I can only pray for wisdom and grace to do it. 

I look forward to the day when I can again set aside an hour to pray and dig deep into a spiritual book but for now I am content making God a reality in my home in all the ways that are possible.